On Marriage 1981-10-01
1 October 1981
On Marriage
Public Program
New York City (United States)
Talk Language: English | Transcript (English) – Draft
[Starts here] ... A huge house! I thought, she must be an actress or something, and all that. She said, "No, it was my husband who was an actor, he gave me lots of money in divorce". I was amazed at her wealth and everything she had from her husband and she divorced. She got half of his earning. Poor man must have toil [unsure] and all the property has gone to the lady. Then I went to Los Angeles. And there met her poor ex-husband in wretched condition, absolutely wretched! So, I said, "How is it your wife is so rich and how are you so poor?" He said, "I made a mistake of marrying twice and divorcing". All his property is lost while these women doing nothing have become so rich!
Your laws are funny, I must say, very funny to women and women are very dominating, that's why they think they can have the money of the man because they are married. And that's why men don't want to marry women that's why they want to marry men. If they are homosexual, do they share the property? Do you marry homosexuals in the church?
Sahaja Yogi: No. Some places they do and some laws are becoming adapted to that.
Shri Mataji: Imagine such a nonsense! It's funny you just look at it, I mean, you have gone so far into stupidity, you can't imagine! No wonder Christ was riding on a donkey, really I tell you, all Christian nations have become so stupid, so stupid in their relationship! How can you have good relationships, husband and wife?
And you'll be amazed, you see, I went to [unclear] it's too much. They can't understand a woman living without a man, now can you imagine? I mean, say, now my husband is not with me. He telephones to me every morning; I talk to him. We are enjoying our separation because he thinks how nice I am. And I think how nice he is to me. That is how we ponder over. And when we meet we have a better time. And a later time, there is one day he's going to be New York, he has told me 10 times that, "Keep your time free, I'll be there, we are going to meet". We are still like honey-mooning couple. Really, we are. And my grand-children also, you see, say that, "Our grandfather and grandmother are only married yesterday". And my children say that, "These are Romeo and Juliet!" Really we are like that. We are really like Romeo, we don't think about it. What is there to think of another man or a woman? I don't understand, I mean, once for all you have taken a decision, now finished!
Every moment you want to take a decision I mean this decision making also is a ego. Like, you are going in an American car, you'd better find out where is the door. You'll have a separate handle for that. You enter into a bathroom find out how to open the tub. That will be separate. In everything you want to have a decision, "This I like, that I like". In no- there is no standard thing in anything. Even in husband, every moment you are changing. Every wife you are changing. It's a confusion for children. I mean, it's very embarrassing. For people like us, you see, who have not known this kind of a thing, it is very embarrassing. It's stupid! I mean, if you know it is stupid, and if you have to live with these people, it's so embarrassing, isn't it? It is still stupid, absolutely stupid! How can you have homosexual relations? I don't understand.
What sort of nonsense it is! You don't create even a rat out of it. [Laughter]
What a waste of energy! Talking of sex itself can't produce even a rat! It’s useless it's absolutely [unclear] Filth [unclear] What, these French people! Look at them, they are nothing but bathroom, they are bathroom culture. They have no culture these French, they have no culture, take it from me. They are nothing but bathroom culture. You know, they have no word for awareness. Can you believe it? They have no word for awareness, because they have only bathroom awareness.
They will describe every sort of an actor of sex and all that. Every stage they can do it, but they cannot tell you the stages of our evolution. Think of it. Think of these people, they think they are the diplomatic people. They are nothing but bathrooms dirty people. You go anywhere, in a hotel, you can't eat your food. You see a nude woman sitting before you, you just feel like vomiting.
I mean anybody who's a proper human being seeing a nude woman must vomit. I mean how do you like this nonsense? Tomorrow, you’ll be sitting in the WCS and watching people. It's filth, it's filth, it's filth, take it from me. Get out of it. How do you expect? I mean I really vomit when I see a [unclear]. I can't bear it. On the roads, you go find all these women there. I don't know. I mean, you want to see nudity for what?
And then 65% people are impotent. You can't do sex with your mind. If you start doing that your Swadhisthana chakra goes amok. Your sex transforms from there, from the localized position, to that. You cannot become a potent personality. You become impotent. If you use your brain for your sex, I mean, mad people you are. Tomorrow you start eating food with your nose.
[Laughter]
I mean, how can you use your brain for your sex? I mean, just tell me this. You use your rationality. How can you? I mean, there's a sex point within you. I just can't understand. I'm too bad for all these things. But I would say, I understand one thing, it is filth. It is not human, it is subhuman. I mean this is like Hell. Who can live in filth? But the worms can live, not human beings. So much talk, talk, talk, of sex for what? I don't understand.
We have the population, you just talk.
[Laughter]
We produce and you just talk and produce these dirty books of pornography this, that nonsense. It's not good! You have no self-esteem, that means you have no self-respect. You are not a sex point. You are not even an animal. You are not even a human being, but you are a seeker. You are saints. Do you know, thousands of years, you have been seeking God? Thousands of years. You are seekers and do not seek God in sex.
You are already sublimated people. You're already great people. Do not waste yourself, try to understand. Don't judge yourself by the standards of these dirty people who are around you. You are special, you are very special. You are the ones who are going to evolve the whole world. And these are all monkeys, I think. I don't know what to call. Monkeys are more sensible. I wouldn't call them monkeys even. But I don't know what to say that, monkeys don't do like this, that the male monkey goes about with a male. In any species, have you seen this nonsense? Except for earthworm which has both the sexes. Earthworms, possible. But they also do not do some of the things that you people do.
What is there to learn from the animals? Tell me. This courting, I was surprised. We had one horrible Sahaja Yogi, he came to us. He spoiled five girl’s vibrations, five. And he was courting them. I said, "What is this courting? You have no self-respect? You're running after every woman! What sort of a man you are? A man must stand up and he should get his wife, not running after this woman, always pleasing her, fixing up her breakfast running after her, why? Are you a dog or a human being? Only in the animal kingdom, the male has to be beautiful, not in the human kingdom. In the animal kingdom, always the male is the beautiful one. In the human kingdom, the woman is the beautiful one. Here the man behaves like an animal! I mean, nowhere I've heard, I mean, I'm very limited, because I must say, in India, you don't hear such a situation. I mean you don't hear such a situation that a man is running after a woman. First time that Gavin came to London, he came and told me this news. There, it is just the opposite!
All right. You have your self-respect or not? And I read it in this 'Mexican dancing' that the courting is learned from turkey, the male turkey courts the female turkey. Just see, these are turkeys or what?
[Laughter]
You should stand upon your self-respect. The girl has to put the garland into your neck. That's why no wonder the women dominate you the way you behave slavishly towards them. I must tell you no use forming all these associations of men and liberation of men. Now I've heard that there is a liberation of men started!
You are two parts and parcel of one being. You have to love each other, enjoy each other. It's such a special thing. You have to care for each other. It's such a great thing you're missing, such a great thing. Hurt each other, say harsh things to each other- or you should see an Indian husband’s wife.
Say, for example, in the presence of elders, we won't even look at each other. And my eyes will be lower and his eyes will be lower. He may just turn around and see me, that's all, that I'm there. He may not even say goodbye to me. But deep down, in the heart, we are feeling each other.
So much oneness, so much oneness. And when he got first elected, you see, and he said, "I couldn't see all that without you. I just couldn't see". He went to the telephone, he telephoned to me. He said, "I wish you here. Just to enjoy that". Such silent companionship. Such beautiful understanding. Of course, sometimes, you must quarrel also. But quarrel is the other way around. Like, he will buy something very expensive for me. So, I'll say, Why did you waste so much money?" "First time I bought this for you. Now why you say that to me?" It's that kind of a quarrel. What I should do for him, and what he should do for me, is the quarrel. It's different. In Sahaja Yoga, we have that companionship.
We have many now young couples like that. You'll be amazed they are. If they are not possessed. But they get possessed very soon as soon as the marriage is declared they get possessed, in the West. It’s a big headache for me because they have a fear of the marriage.
But there will be very good relationships with the people also. And very good marriages, very good families. Especially because the great people are going to be born to these great Sahaja Yogis. There are so many, so many of them wanting to be born. So, all the children, nowadays, I see born to Sahaja Yogis are born Realised. So, all these children are to be born to you. They are just waiting for a chance. And they are going to build this great empire of God. So, you have to lead a life of love, affection, give and take, and enjoyment. Marriage is for enjoyment and not for quarrelling, not at all. What is money? We are not going to take it with us, are we? Really, I don't know how you people think about money, but, I mean, we are not so conscious of in India. We don't understand the value of money so much.
Perhaps we are not so much aware, but we don't understand. We understand love. We understand affection. But you had these great qualities in you once upon a time, I know, you had them. And you'll again revive them, definitely. You’ll revive them. And you come from such ancient personalities that that will come up, as soon as you become Realized souls. Then the giving, it will be joyful and a very great understanding.
But I would say, Americans should marry Australians. [Laughter]
And Australians should marry English. And English should marry. That is better. So, that there is more understanding and there is a little curiosity to know each other. Because otherwise, they have formula: "If you say this, I'll say this". It's all so sorted out, you see. By the time it is 1 month, you must end up into the divorce case. The whole thing is out. One by one, by one. But today he said so, that one said so. I mean in the- if you see any film, most of it is fighting between husband and wife. We get fed up! The husband says so, the wife says so. I mean, is there no love? All Romeo Juliet is finished or what?
We are going to have very sweet married lives beautiful, ideal, I tell you, where the women don't get any breast cancers and men don't run away from house.
[Realisation part]
Yes, it is true, I see that part. Should we have Realization now?
Gavin: Slip your shoes off.
For the new people that have come, this is to earth you, to allow the vibrations to flow. Just simply hold your hands up. Rest them on your leg
Shri Mataji: You'll be empowered, you see, to do all these things. You'll be empowered with love. You’ll have so much love that you can’t imagine be. He has so much love, so much of love.
Today, I think, you all will get Realization without any difficulty. Already, you must be feeling it. It's tremendous today. My brain is really- please close your eyes. Just close your eyes. You don't have to do anything. You just feel the cool breeze, that's all. Then I'll tell you what it is.
Just close your eyes, don't do anything. Just close your eyes and leave your attention free. Don't fix it up anywhere, just don’t. If you have not damaged yourself too much, I'm sure it should work. Just it's too much. The power is too much.
Shri Mataji [to Gavin]: Just put your hand [on Shri Mataji's Back Agnya]. See, it's tremendous.
Keep your eyes shed. Just keep your eye shed, because Kundalini won't rise above your Agnya if your eyes are not shut. Please keep them shut.
Now on top of your head, you can feel the cool breeze. Those who can feel it, just feeling it. Just put your right hand on top of your head, it's flowing so much. Just move your hand and see on your head. Just move forward and backward. Higher than your head you put it, then you will feel it.
Shri Mataji [to Gavin]: It’s tremendous. Most of them are feeling.
Now put your heads towards me, just like this. And see if you are feeling in your hands [unclear] Relax your, relax your shoulders and put your hands. Relax.
Shri Mataji [to Gavin]: It’s too much, he? What a [unclear] It has turn to left now.
All right.
Are you feeling the feeing the cool breeze? Put the hands towards me, like this, straight. Like this, not like this but this way as if you're asking .
This is just the beginning. But you must establish yourself deeper and deeper into it. Luckily, now we have some people here, who want to start a Center. You all have to give your names to these people and do not just get lost. Work it out.
Those who are not feeling cool breeze have to raise their hands. Please stand.
Why? Together you are not feeling? [Unclear] All right.
Please raise your hands. Higher, like this. Why, why are you not feeling? You are all right.
Seeker: I’m very hot.
Shri Mataji: Very hot.
Gavin: Ekadesha Rudra is catching.
Shri Mataji [to Gavin]: Hum?
Gavin: Ekadesha Rudra is catching.
Hum. These too. Now better? It will work out.
Who else is not feeling there? You?
Now are you all right?
See these gentlemen. It’s all right. Just put your hand and see if he is feeling. Or you just see his head. The Sahaja Yogis should see others now. It's all right.
This is the guru’s, you see, you have to get rid of him. And Christine will tell you how to do it tonight. All right? They come back.
Ask him to put the right hand on the [unclear.] Just see all of them one by one. You can also do this once you are Realised. Are you all right?
[Unclear conversation with a seeker]
You very happy. I wish you were today in, today, in [unclear; Cornish town?] come. Today was such a great day. It worked very well with everyone.
Seeker: Tonight it happened just from the word though. [Unsure]
Shri Mataji: Hum?
Seeker: On the spoken word it happened. [Unsure]
Shri Mataji: It happened. Yes, today I'm just filled with it. It's too much. It was too much.
Are you all right?
Are you all right now? What's the matter
All right we’ll see him.
See all of them one by one. See this side.
Are you all right now Barbara?
Barbara: Oh, yes. You come and see this gentleman. Can you tell me what are the centres catching?
All of them, one by one.
Everybody should take one row.
[End of video]